A Bigger Sport Shot
By
Dean Hinitz, Ph.D.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Victor Frankl, Author
To Our Family, Friends, and Team:
Bowling has taught us everything we need to learn in order to get through this challenging time. The oil has been changed. The line has moved. This sport shot is called the World Pattern. We are going to play it exactly like we play a difficult pattern that we haven’t yet experienced or mastered. You have what you need to succeed on this “shot. “
We are going to use this time to get better at life, and every single lesson you learn is going to work for you when the lights come on. All bowling is change. This includes strike lines, energy levels, emotional ups and downs, hits, misses, and resilience. Similarly, life is change.
As in bowling, we don’t want to spend one calorie of energy resisting inevitable change. If you can learn to embrace and adapt to change, you will be on the fast track to easing anxiety and concerns, and your relationships with everyone around you will be strengthened. You will certainly feel much stronger inside!
Translate the following to apply to bowling, competition, and to life—particularly in the present day:
1) Focus on the part of the game that you control. You only control what you focus on, what you visualize, and what you execute in bowling. This is true for every shot. Similarly, these days, you can plan your day. You will decide what to read, how to do home drills, what exercises to do, who to connect with on facetime, and what you can do in school or work.
That’s it. If you focus on what has been lost, circumstances that cannot be changed, or blaming people, you will feel powerless and uncomfortable. Look for ways to be responsible for things you can put into action. Take positive action in any way that you can. You will like the result.
2) Monitor your thought habits. When the lights come on your mind can race. You can think in catastrophic terms when things don’t go well. You can fear what might happen next.
Stop for a moment. Take a breath. Will yourself to be in the present moment. It doesn’t mean that you are being an ostrich with its head in the sand when you remember that you have already survived difficulties, hurts, disappointments, and scary times.
Remember that you are resilient, that you are capable of dealing with unknown circumstances, and that you have great connections and resources. You have strengths. You just probably haven’t been focusing on those strengths.
3) Maintain your connections. Don’t go at it alone. No one gets to the hall of fame on their own. Life demands that we have teammates, mentors, coaches, and a support crew.
Competing can be overwhelming, especially if you make the finals. We are in a sort of society game now. Changes in behavior, different rules, and closed bowling centers, can be overwhelming as well. Yes, this is big.
There may be no bigger purpose, or way to get through life, than with significant others. This is a time to deepen, fortify, and enrich, the special relationships we have. Your family, friends, and bowling mates are what will be your most important coping and growth mechanism.
It is true that this is a time of challenge and stress. You are being tested. You have what you need. You are supposed to come out of this better. You will focus on the moment and the day. You will take effective actions, and you can let the parts that are out of your control go. You are training for bowling, and you are training for life.
And we are with you.
The very best regards,
Dr. Dean Hinitz,
“You have the power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic Philosopher
